A Year Of Self-Reflection
"Go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows." - Rainer Maria Rilke.
I did it! I have written one post a week for an entire year (which was a test I set up for myself to see if I would ever find myself hating it), and I still love writing and still have a lot to say. Whether you find that a good or bad thing will depend on your perspective, but I am happy about it. 😄I started this blog on January 1, 2025. My first post was a reflection on my addiction to the feeling of sadness, and then setting a few goals to try to overcome it. In August, I wrote an update where I pondered the idea that being sad all the time was a spiritual issue and then revised my goals (which I promptly forgot!). "I make so many beginnings there never will be an end." - Louisa May Alcott.
Why self-reflect and make goals for the new year? Self-reflection will bring up aspects of yourself that you may want to improve, the fact that time is slipping away, and that you have an influence on the world and the people around you (whether you accept it or not). The goals that we set are meant to offset our imperfections and give our lives a purpose. I think that Paul Newman says it best, "I'd like to be remembered as a guy who tried...tried to be a part of his time, tried to help people communicate with one another, tried to find some decency in his own life, tried to extend himself as a human being. Someone who isn't complacent, who doesn't cop out." - Paul Newman.
This blog has been my attempt to work through some of life's situations that I have found myself in throughout the year. When my employer was being unreasonable, I wrote about loyalty and leadership. When I had relationship trouble, I wrote about Communication and Letting Go Of Someone You Loved. The whole year could probably be summed up in How To Survive A Wreck😄. I saw a funny poster that said, "If you line up your ex-lovers in a row, you can see the flow chart of your mental illness." I feel the same way about my posts. I am sure that I give away more about myself than I should, but I'm okay with that if my trying to make sense of this life helps someone else make sense of theirs. "The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it, and change so that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear, or anger but in wisdom, understanding, and love." Jennifer Edwards.
I went over my site analytics and found that my most-read post was Destruction. It was closely followed by Choices, Relationship Advice, Your Path, Responsibility, Connection, and Recipe Storytelling. My least-read post was Why So Much Stuff? followed by Decide Already and Your Purpose. I tend to write about things that are interesting to me in the moment. I do not preplan my subject matter as things change quickly. "For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice." - T.S. Eliot. Who knows what the next year will hold, but I bet that it will be interesting enough that I will have plenty of subjects to pester you with. Taylor Swift once said, "This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change," and that is one thing that we can be sure of.
The lesson I learned that I give the highest value to this year is that getting hurt is the price of love, but it is worth the cost. "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." - C.S. Lewis.
My sadness was not a flaw, although it probably should not be the focused on very often. It was because I cared, and caring means that I loved something, even if it was just the idealized dream of that thing. I will accept my sadness as a part of who I am, and if I can endure the path, maybe it will lead me to more love. "For a new Self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong. Love can only be perfected in pain." - Shams Tabrizi.
As for the next year, I have been toying with the idea of breaking the year into quarters and changing the New Year's goal based on what is most needed for that particular time. In fact, I think that is what I will do. Time seems to be moving faster as I get older, so this is probably going to be my new way of doing things. Give me a few more years, and I will be setting goals monthly!
"Some people swear there's no beauty left in the world, no magic. Then, how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night to celebrate the hope of a new year?" - New Year's Eve (2011 film). If you are so inclined, I would love to know which post was your favorite or which one you got the most value out of. Here's to a happy new year! I hope that it brings you what you need most🤗
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby