Choices

One of the most famous defectors from North Korea is a lovely woman named Yeonmi Park. She is a champion for the use of personal freedom and individual choices, but she did not always believe. She wrote in her memoir, In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl's Journey to Freedom, “I never knew freedom could be such a cruel and difficult thing. Until now, I had always thought that being free meant being able to wear jeans and watch whatever movies I wanted without worrying about being arrested. Now I realized that I had to think all the time—and it was exhausting. There were times when I wondered whether, if it wasn't for the constant hunger, I would be better off in North Korea, where all my thinking and all my choices were taken care of for me.”

I was fascinated by her admonition that having to make choices was exhausting. It makes sense that having all the choices that we do in a consumer society makes everyday decisions hard. I know that I waste time when shopping trying to find the best price on products (because you are supposed to be smart with your money) made with the best materials (because you should care where it came from and how it was made), only to pick the one with the most appealing packaging out of frustration. I have since come across other people who understand that our mental energy is not unlimited. "You can do anything, but not everything." - unknown. Atomic Habits author, suggests reducing decision fatigue by planning daily decisions such as what to wear, which important tasks to do, and what to eat the night before. As our ability to make good decisions diminishes as we run out of mental stamina, it is advised that you make important decisions early in the day, if possible. It is also advised that you choose to get enough rest, eat for health, and avoid high amounts of stress to help your decision-making process operate at optimal capacity. Good luck.

Love and hate, good and evil, we like to think that most of life's choices are polar opposites. Instead, a great deal of them are in a grey zone, one where what might be best for you, won't be the best for someone else, or society in general. "Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights." - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. One of the most difficult choices to make comes about when you find yourself in a lose-lose situation, where there is pain attached to either outcome. To become paralyzed and avoid making a choice is often the reaction to this situation, but it won't last forever. The universe does not stand still and will eventually force your hand.

"There are two primary choices in life: To accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." - Dennis Waitley. Either choice will come with its own set of consequences, and just because you choose good, it does not mean that you will not suffer. Sophia Scholl was a German anti-Nazi political activist who was caught distributing leaflets containing philosophical and ethical arguments against Nazi politics. She was tried, sentenced to die, and beheaded. I do not believe that she regretted her choice. "It's the reductionist approach to life if you keep it small, you'll keep it under control. If you don't make any noise, the bogeyman won't find you. But it's all an illusion, because they die too, those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe?! From what? Life is always on the edge of death; narrow streets lead to the same places as wide avenues, and a little candle burns itself out just like a flaming torch does. I choose my own way to burn." - Sophie Scholl, non-violent activist, Munich, (1921-1943).

"The essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love, passion." - Nadia Boulanger. I am an emotional person, and most of my everyday decisions are ruled by how I feel. I dislike meal planning for the week because I might not feel like eating that particular food on that particular day. Being ruled by feeling is not a logical way to make decisions, and decisions made with emotion can end badly. This is perhaps my greatest struggle, and while I understand the following quote, "Choose not to be harmed, and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed, and you haven't been." - Marcus Aurelius, I have considerable trouble choosing my reactions, and the chemicals they produce course through my veins and influence how I feel. "We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them." - Kahlil Gibran. It is overwhelming at times to imagine the outcomes, consider the consequences, and try to avoid making the "wrong" choice. Sometimes it feels better just to see what happens.

I like to think that I love having the opportunity to make my own choices over any other gift I was given as a human. It seems that if we are stripped of choices and our options are limited, we are left with one decision to make: "What do I want to believe about this situation?". If you've had a run of bad luck, you can choose to believe that God hates you, that you did something in the past to deserve bad treatment, that 'sometimes it just be like that', or that maybe this will eventually work in your favor, that there is a sliver lining. The choice that you make will determine who you are and what will happen next in your future. "Our lives are fashioned by our choices. First we make our choices. Then our choices make us." - Anne Frank. This is how we become shapers of our own reality, co-creators of our individual experiences, how we become gods. "The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become." - Heraclitus. Life will happen to you, you are not going to be in control of most of it, despite your Herculean efforts. Allow it to happen, be aware of how you feel, choose your attitude, and hold on tight. "With awareness, there comes a choice. And so you are able to say: 'I allow this moment to be as it is.' And then, suddenly, where there was irritation, there is now a sense of peace. And out of that comes right action." - Eckhart Tolle.

Love and Hope,

Big Sky Baby