Decide Already
"Be decisive, right or wrong. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision." - unknown.
In my last post, I expressed gratitude for being able to choose how to view what happens to me in this life. Interestingly enough, what happens to me is often a result of the decisions that I made. None of us enjoys dealing with the consequences of a bad decision, but we often do not realize that it was the wrong one until it's too late. Whether we make a decision in haste or have done our best to research what we believe to be the best option, the desired outcome is not guaranteed. You will pay a price for each decision that you make. "I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions." - Stephen Covey.
"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are." - unknown. It does not really matter where you go from there. Yes, you can use the experiences of others or scientific research to make the best decision you can make, but you will never be able to prepare for or fully comprehend the outcome of your decisions. This is alright. Many bad decisions were made with the best of intentions. Mistakes will be made, and glorious success will happen occasionally. Your outlook will determine whether you will use the situations you find yourself in due to your decisions to your benefit or detriment. This is where you have power that no one else can take away. "The situation doesn't mean anything until you decide what it means. The decision is the creative act." - Bashar.
The uncertain outcome of your decisions can cause anxiety to the point that some people are unable to make any decisions at all. They do not want the responsibility of the outcome resting on them. Letting others take over your decisions is not going to save you from the consequences of them, though, and just because you can blame them on someone else does not make it any easier to bear. "It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong." - Thomas Sowell. It is unwise to give up your freedom to choose just because it makes things easier in the short run.
Other people may think that they can choose the best path for you. They might offer advice, which, if respectfully given, may influence your decision, but they also cannot fully see the outcome (even if they think they can). "Everyone has the right to make his own decisions, but none has the right to force his decision on others." - Ayn Rand. Many things are decided for us through our families and culture. "5 minutes after your birth, they decide your name, nationality, religion, and sect, and you spend the rest of your life defending something you didn't even choose." - unknown.
It is essential to remember that you do not need to have a death grip on any decision, even those made by others on your behalf. As life unfolds, we will not stay the same. We generally try to make the best decisions we can from the information that we currently understand. We are constantly learning, and circumstances are constantly changing; we would be stupid to hang onto a bad decision if there was a better one to make. "Last year, when I was grappling with whether I wanted to keep practicing law, my husband gave me some really good advice. Sharing today in case you need to hear it, too. Ready? The person you were at 22 does not get to decide who you have to be for the rest of your life." - Lauren Rad.
Just because you make a different decision does not mean that you cannot grieve letting go of the one that came before. You were doing what you thought was best at the time. It may not be best for who you are now. "It's okay to be sad after making the right decision. " - unknown. There are many reasons why we hold onto decisions: sunk cost fallacy, the fear of others' reactions, and general exhaustion from having too many decisions to make. If the decisions made by yourself or others are making your life miserable, then please let them go. If they are decisions that you cannot walk away from, then please decide to be happy despite them. "You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy." - Nightbirde.
Yes, happiness is a decision. It is heavily influenced by the attitude of gratitude that I wrote about in the last post. "If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose. When you wake up, you can't just wait to see what kind of day you'll have. You have to decide what kind of day you'll have." - Joel Osteen. The main decision that we have to make is who is it that we want to be. We are all leaving an energy trail that is following us in this physical world, and after death, how do you want to be remembered? "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
So pick something already. It does not have to be perfect or even good. You'll figure it out as you go along. "There are no right decisions. The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience." - Deepak Chopra. Pick a direction, make a decision, and figure out how you must act to arrive at that destination, but know that the path is never a straight line. There are ways to shorten the trip or to avoid obstacles, but they do not guarantee that you will arrive without damage. My recommendation is that you aim high and choose love always, but you will learn from your experiences either way.
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."- Epictetus. This often results in trying to change the person you are now, who has learned that the outcome from past decisions was not the direction that you wanted to go. We decide what we eat, if we exercise, what content we consume, who we admire, how we dress, speak, and act, and those decisions will determine our destiny. As one tiny decision is made and adhered to, it has an impact on other decisions, and your trajectory will change, for good or bad. "The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours- it is an amazing journey- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." - Bob Moawad. May you be happy with the results of your decisions, and if you are not, may you have the strength to change. 😄
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby