Delusions
Autonomy- the crazy idea that you get to choose what you want to do with your life.
There is not one person who has ever lived who was 100% autonomous. Circumstances determine part of their story. Other people determine part of it. Chance determines quite a lot. But their decisions shaped it, too. Every once in a while, I come across someone saying something to the effect of, "just believe in yourself, and you can do anything." I'd love that to be true, but reality likes to slap me down. The truth is, we live in a world of constraints. Age, health, money, talent, morals, and intelligence all have all got a say in what you can or cannot do with your life. There are limits. There are rules.
And since there are limits and rules, some people will test them. "Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do." -Apple, Think Different campaign (1997). So, how do you know whether you are just crazy enough to change the world or if you are delusional?
Outside its more specific psychiatric meaning, we often use the word delusion to describe a false belief stubbornly maintained despite evidence against it. Imagine two people with identical abilities who both want to become writers. One thinks, I'm not really a writer. Who would want to read anything I write? The other thinks, I'm a writer. I may not be a particularly good one yet, but I'm going to become one.
That second belief might initially be slightly ahead of the evidence. But because of it, she writes every week. She studies. She finishes things. She tolerates criticism. She submits work. She accumulates hundreds of thousands of words of practice. Five years later, the belief that once seemed presumptuous has helped create the evidence supporting it.
That's very different from saying, I'm an extraordinary writer; therefore everyone who rejects my work is too stupid to recognize my genius.
To attempt something great, your belief may sometimes have to run a little ahead of the evidence. There must be some confidence in yourself that what you want to do may be possible in the future. It is the conceive • believe • achieve mindset. Beliefs can change your behavior, and your behaviors can change your reality. "People always ask me. 'You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?' It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl... it doesn't have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple; it's your home, and you must decorate it." - Gabourey Sidibe.
There must be some degree of hope of a better future and positive thinking involved for change to come about. This is why we respond well to people who can give us hope, the ones who show us that we have greatness within even if we don't quite see it yet. "To be truly radical is to make hope practical, rather than despair convincing." - Raymond Williams.
People can suffer from delusions of grandeur, but we can be equally mistaken in the opposite direction. We can develop beliefs about our own powerlessness that aren't supported by the evidence. When we attempt a change, it is hard, and we can experience failure, which is unpleasant. Taking failure to heart and thinking that you are hopeless is not helpful. "But", you will say, "the evidence that I am worthless is overwhelming, so it must be true." People who have a tendency to think this way will often minimize or just not be able to see the things in their life that they do well.
This is a tragedy, as it often leads to lives being cut short too soon. I say fight back. You may not be the best-looking, the smartest, the most successful, but no one has the right to say that your life is without value. "The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion." - Unknown. Sometimes it is okay to give the middle finger to reality if it's going to keep you alive.
Autonomy gives us the freedom to choose. Agency allows us to act on that choice. Self-belief gives us the nerve to try before we know whether we'll succeed. A belief that even though your current reality does not show the desired evidence, you are willing to work on it. Say, "I don't currently have evidence that I can do this. I'm going to find out." It is positive, hopeful, and forward-thinking, and that isn't delusion. It is a hypothesis—and you are willing to test it. You might find out that you are great or that you are terrible; the evidence will show you. Keep in mind, though, that we often find what we are looking for. "Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." - Camille Pissarro.
If others do not agree, they will say that you are delusional, and maybe that's not a bad thing; your world can be as beautiful as you will let it be. "Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place." - Iain S. Thomas.
Besides, every once in a while, you will come across someone who not only agrees with your viewpoint, but admires you for it. "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." - Jack Kerouac. Let's be just delusional enough to believe that we can change the world for good, and then go do it!
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby