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# Frustration
- URL: https://big-sky-baby.ghost.io/frustration/
- Published: 2026-07-29T07:00:33.000Z
- Updated: 2026-07-29T07:00:33.000Z
- Author: Big Sky Baby

***"My heart wants roots. My mind wants wings. I cannot bear their bickerings." — E.Y. Harburg.***

If there were a feeling assigned to the last decade, I think it would be **frustration**. Merriam-Webster defines frustration as *"the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of an inability to change or achieve something."*

There are countless things to become frustrated with: other people, situations we cannot control, the weather, and even ourselves. There are even obscure words that describe specific kinds of frustration that I had never considered before:

- **Onism:** The frustration of being stuck in just one body that inhabits only one place at a time.
- **Adronitis:** The frustration with how long it takes to truly get to know someone.
- **Vemödalen:** The frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of nearly identical photos already exist.

How much frustration can you bear before you lose it? The answer is different for everyone. Your frustration tolerance is influenced by many factors, including your childhood experiences, personality, previous exposure to frustrating situations, and the perspective you choose to take.

Like any other skill, resilience can be strengthened. Over time, you can change your response to frustration by building what psychologists call **frustration tolerance**. It develops gradually through repeated practice.

First, expect that you are going to become frustrated. Ironically, unmet expectations are often the very thing that creates frustration. We think we know how events will unfold, how people will react, or how quickly we should achieve our goals. When reality fails to match our expectations, frustration follows. Once you accept that frustration is a normal part of life, it becomes easier to accept reality as it is. *"Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance."* — Unknown.

Second, when frustration appears, pay attention to your response. At first, this reflection usually happens after you've already lost your temper. With practice, however, you may begin to recognize the emotion while it is happening, giving yourself the opportunity to choose your response before acting.

Third, decide how you want to respond in a way that aligns with the kind of person you want to become. If someone is tailgating me while I'm driving, I have several choices. I can speed up, slow down, pull over, make an obscene gesture, curse at them, or simply ignore them. My circumstances may be outside my control, but my response is still mine to choose.

Fourth, do not give up. Developing frustration tolerance takes time—sometimes years. Eventually, you may replace the thought, *"I can't stand this,"* with, *"I don't like this, but I can handle it."* Instead of seeing frustration as an obstacle, begin to see it as an opportunity to become stronger. Change your perspective.

Frustration does not have to be a negative emotion; it can be incredibly useful. Many of humanity's greatest innovations were born from frustration. Think of the countless ways people have learned to build homes throughout history. They adapted to the materials available around them, solving problems creatively rather than giving up. Frustration often becomes the birthplace of ingenuity.

*"The most profound personal growth does not happen while reading a book or meditating on a mat. It happens in the throes of conflict—when you are angry, afraid, or frustrated. It happens when you are doing the same old thing, and you suddenly realize that you have a choice."* — Vironika Tugaleva.

*"I do think that we all have inner energy... Frustration and fear, of course, are two greatest obstacles that keep any form of energy and vitality completely paralyzed... I sincerely believe that energy grows from itself and the more energy you expend... the more you create within yourself. I also believe that energy is a habit... In other words, use your energy and more energy flows."* — Diana Vreeland.

Deciding to keep trying even when you are frustrated is difficult. There is no shortcut. Every frustrating experience is another opportunity to practice becoming the person you want to be.

*"A spiritual awakening is not usually pleasant. Often it feels like confusion, frustration, anger, sadness, grief, or being 'out of place.' It can be uncomfortable and challenging because it is a time of intense personal growth. But despite how difficult it may feel, you're not going crazy; you're evolving."* — Unknown.

Keep moving in the direction of what you value.

**Love and Hope,**

*Big Sky Baby*