In Your Head
"I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind." - Edgar Allen Poe.
I don't know about you, but I have been convinced that my mind has been trying to kill me for years. It likes to worry, replay past events that I can do nothing about, obsess over conversations, plot revenge, and slip back into thinking the same thoughts that cause the same sad emotions over and over again. The name for this process is called rumination. Rumination- In psychology, it is a repetitive, passive (not problem-solving), and obsessive focus on negative thoughts about one's distress, its causes, and consequences, often seen in anxiety and depression. - Google AI Overview.
"We drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick." - Atticus. I think that feeling sick includes being unhappy, but still repeating the same thoughts that bring us unhappiness. We have choices to combat this problem. There are doctors to prescribe anti-anxiety and anti-depression drugs, psychologists and therapists to talk to, and the internet, full of endless advice. If these choices work for you, then that is great. Keep it up. If they don't, then what choices do you still have?
How to fix it- here are some ideas that might help:
Use the body. The following two quotes appear to be at odds, but like many truths, they are two sides of the same coin.
- "An overactive mind is a symptom of an unchallenged body." - unknown.
- "Once you control your mind, you can conquer your body." - unknown.
The mind and body are not independent entities; they are integrated and constantly influencing each other. The things the body does, such as sleep, breathing, posture, and fitness, affect the mind's cognitive functions, our feelings, and decisions. Not being able to turn off or control thoughts that are causing stress, hormone changes, and muscle tension is a problem. The mind can push the body, but not always override it. There are also other limits that might have to be overcome, such as genetics, injury, sickness, exhaustion, and physiology. While "What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality." - Plutarch, the outside will also change the inner.
Learn to communicate better. Relationships are often the reason that our mind kicks into overdrive. Given that we should not avoid them because we are a social species and we need each other, you would think that we would have been able to master communication after all these centuries. Instead, I think we are now worse at it than ever. "Until men and women start having honest conversations about who they truly are, what demons they battle with, where they lack, and what they truly want...love will continue to be a temporary emotion...Honesty and communication are key. Stop being afraid to speak on where you are." - Sara Kautz.
It is not just romantic relationships that could use more honesty and better communication; it is every relationship that you have, even the one with yourself. "She wouldn't get lost in her head if you'd let loose your tongue and tell her what you see when you look at her." - writing_raw. The barriers to communicating effectively are particularly hard when your self-talk is yammering away in your head, telling you made-up stories about the situation, the people involved, God, and life in general. We do not know what other people are thinking, and even if we want to, we cannot drag it out of them. Communication takes at least two, but even if you cannot get anyone else on board, you can improve the way you communicate by being honest. It won't make everything better, but it will give others who care about you an opportunity to talk it out with you and find out why you are thinking the way you do. Then they can correct you if you misunderstood and screwed up your thought process. This will help to calm your tendency to overthink the situation.
Become self-aware. "To awaken means to awaken out of the self-talk in the head because the self-talk is a form of hypnosis- self-hypnosis." - Eckhart Tolle. I love this way of describing what is happening in your head. You are thinking the same thoughts over and over again; basically, you are accessing stored memories and mindlessly replaying them and allowing them to take up all your mental energy and hypnotize yourself into who you are. Why? Because the brain is lazy, or more nicely put, very efficient. It prefers the familiar and will avoid problem-solving like I avoid burpees.
"Nothing outside yourself can cause you any trouble. You yourself make the waves in your mind. If you leave your mind as it is, it will become calm." - Shunryu Suzuki. In other words, be aware of what your mind is doing and tell it to relax. Of course, if you are already doing this, then you wouldn't need help to begin with. Training and overcoming the mind can be done through meditation and prayer, but they must be practiced consistently and with intention for you to finally experience a breakthrough. You can use them to upgrade your thinking and maybe self-hypnotize yourself into someone better, someone less judgmental, more accepting, more peaceful, and full of joy, someone in love with their life even though it's hard.
Be selective in your focus. "Be very careful what you put into that head, because you'll never, ever get it out." - Thomas Cardinal Wolsey. This could apply to the content that you consume, but it can also apply to your perspective on life events. If someone excludes you, you can see that as a comment on your worthlessness or with gratitude, knowing that God was protecting you from this person being able to cause you more trouble in the future. Always act as if the universe were aligned in your favor. This will keep you from becoming a powerless victim and living in a negative feedback loop. "If you are going to overthink, at least overthink all the ways it could work out in your favor, the best case scenario, and every version of your life turns out better than expected." - unknown.
There is an added benefit to thinking good thoughts; thinking good thoughts will make your physical appearance more saintly. "A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Ronald Dahl, The Witches. See that radiating good vibes as a way of serving others. Serving others gets us out of our heads by putting our focus on them and not ourselves. Just understand that they do not have to accept your positivity; you are not owed kindness back just because you put it out there. You are doing this for your own mind; if it helps humanity, then so much the better.
Whether we like it or not, we cannot escape our mind. It is there 24/7, either working in our favor or trying to drive us insane. "I envy you. Every moment you can leave me. I cannot leave myself." - Anna Swir. I am sorry for all who have endured PTSD, OCD, limerence, agoraphobia, obsession, anxiety, depression, and all the other mental ailments that try to destroy us. I know what it is like to question your sanity and just want to give up because you are being tormented by a bully that you cannot get rest from. This is a human problem that has plagued us for centuries. Many have beaten it, and some of them have left us instructions. I hope that the instructions that resonate with you will cross your path and you will find a way to calm your mind so that you can live the rest of your life in peace... "You live most of your life inside of your head. Make sure it's a nice place to be." - unknown.
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby