Worry

"Don't use your energy to worry. Use your energy to believe, trust, create, grow, and heal." - unknown.

What is worry, why do we do it, and how can we stop? I am a chronic worrywart, and there have been many periods in my life when obsessive worrying has destroyed my peace. In fact, there have been times when it got so bad that I began to wonder if I was losing my mind. I do not like to be in that state, and I certainly would not want any of you to be there either, so let's unpack this.

First of all, what is it? Our brains developed worry as a protective system. It is supposed to help us by anticipating problems and preparing us for future events. It, like any other system, can malfunction, and we can get caught up in a thinking loop that we cannot seem to shut down. This is when worry goes from being helpful to a negative mental condition. "All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry- all forms of fear- are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past and not enough presence." - Eckhart Tolle.

Mr. Tolle groups worry under fear of future events, and that sounds correct to me. Interestingly, he also puts it with other closely related fears of the future, such as anxiety. Worry and anxiety are not quite the same: worry is all in your head, while anxiety is a physical response. You can often tell which you’re experiencing by asking: “Am I thinking about a problem, or is my body reacting as if something bad is happening right now?” "Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall a soul, except sin. God commands you to pray, but he forbids you to worry." - St. Francis de Sales.

Why is it bad to worry? It is a symptom of fear that can then lead to a cascade of other negative issues. "Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear, and despair—these bow the heart and turn the spirit back to dust." - unknown. Worry, being a future-oriented thought process, keeps you from living in the present. "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows; it empties today of its strength." - Corrie Ten Boom. Despite our assumptions, tomorrow is not promised to any of us. All we really have is the moment we are in right now.

Worst of all, to worry is to focus on a maybe, a what if, a lie. There have been many people who have understood that worry is made-up stories.

"Worry is a misuse of your imagination." - unknown.

"Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have." - Joyce Meyer.

Others believe that when you worry, it means that you have lost faith that things will work out for the best and are focusing on the wrong things.

"Worry is worshipping the problem." - TobyMac.

"Worrying is like praying really hard for exactly what you don't want." - unknown.

Some have said that, since the brain must be constantly entertaining itself, worrying is a way for it to keep itself occupied, a way to feel like it is doing something productive-

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere." - unknown.

"Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn't change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing." - unknown.

Like all other illnesses that seem to befall the human race, there can be physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual diseases that will make us prone to worry. Physically, when the body is under stress, not getting enough sleep, not exercising, ingesting too much sugar and caffeine, it is more likely to start the worry loop. You already know the prescription for these issues, as they have been discussed for hundreds of years now. (Although you might have to determine which came first, the feelings or the physical manifestation: may the odds be ever in your favor. 😉)"The elimination diet: Remove anger, regret, resentment, guilt, blame, and worry. Then, watch your health and life improve." - Charles F. Glassman.

Mentally, you can use cognitive techniques to learn to reframe your thoughts. "If something is wrong, fix it if you can, but train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything." - Curiano.com. To be in a constant state of worry can become a deeply ingrained thought process that the brain turns to out of habit. If you find this happening to you, you must interrupt the loop and find a new, productive thought to consider. ChatGPT gave me a technique that I now use to help me when I notice my thoughts are spiraling.

The process looks like this: Name it → Test it → Trade it. When you realize that you are worrying about something, you name it by speaking it aloud or writing it down (very important). You then ask yourself, "Is this a fact or is it a fear?" or "What evidence is there that makes this true?" Then replace the thought with a realistic but more productive one. Do not use fake positivity here because your brain will reject it as being untrue. Something like, "Everything is not going to be alright, but you have lived through hard things before, and you are still here." This process moves you through prediction → possibility → action. Having an action to take gives you back your life. You are no longer at the mercy of worry.

Emotionally, we can overcome upbringing and societal failings that might have caused us to adopt a worry mindset by recognizing human behavior patterns. We often worry about things that are completely out of our control, and many businesses make a profit by making sure that those issues are always before our eyes. "And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, "This is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!" And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, "No. This is what's important."' - Iain Thomas.

Spiritually, the antidote to fear-based feelings has always been faith. Faith that the things that happen to us are not without value, that there can be a silver lining in our clouds, faith that God loves us and wants us to succeed. "Don't worry. God has gone before you and prepared the way. Keep walking." - unknown. Faith is an understanding that we are not in control of anything except our attitude. It is the acceptance (but not necessarily the liking) of what is. "Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up." - Ralph Waldo Emerson. Faith in what's above will pull your focus towards something bigger and significantly more eternal than your worries. How you perceive what is happening to you will shape the outcome.

"A lot of bad things are going to happen to you. First off, you're going to die. So, that said, there's not much to worry about... No matter what else happens, you really only have two options: you can either handle things well and be happy, or you can handle them poorly and be miserable." - unknown. Please do not spend your precious life energy worrying. Use your energy as my first quote suggests, "to believe, trust, create, grow, and heal". Fight back and be happy.

Love and Hope,

Big Sky Baby