Embrace The Suck

Embrace the Suck- (verb, military slang) to consciously accept or appreciate something that is extremely unpleasant, but unavoidable for forward progression.

My son has been in an Army boot camp for a week now. I have not heard from him, but I am sure that his life is rather hard at the moment. His recruiter gave him some advice before he left, telling him to "just decide to have fun." After watching a few YouTube videos about boot camp, I knew that to make it fun, he would have to be persistent with that decision. "Men always forget that human happiness is a disposition of mind and not a condition of circumstances." - John Locke. It's a good thing that that is true because no one alive will get by without some adversity.

I found it interesting that he did not tell him to toughen up and to power through, because when I think about embracing the suck, those are the first things that come to mind. Merriam-Webster defines embrace figuratively as “to accept or support a belief, theory, or change willingly and enthusiastically.” Willingly and enthusiastically accepting the situation is not grim and stoic: it's happy.

I think that we have all been in situations that we have chosen that have sucked. Maybe not at first, but later became a grind or maybe even the worst thing that ever happened to you. How can we go from complaining about the difficulty or wanting to give up, to eagerly jumping out of bed ready to take it on the chin one more day? "When you can't control what's happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what's happening. That's where your power is!" - unknown.

To accomplish anything or to grow as a person, there are several uncomfortable, or perceived-to-be uncomfortable, things that you will have to go through. Of course, you do not have to, but there is a price to pay, no matter what you decide. There is a popular psychological idea that if we do the hard things today, our future self won’t have to suffer tomorrow. When we kick the can down the road, we are simply shifting that burden onto ourselves later.

There are some people who, when anything unpleasant comes up, will quit. Others welcome challenges. "Take risks: If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise." - unknown.

I read about a lady who would pray every day that God would provide her with a challenge. I, having seen some things that people have gone through that would have broken me, thought that she was insane. How does one become someone who chooses to be energized by the fight and not worn down into despair? "What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better." - Bruce Lee.

Attitude- believe that all things that happen to you are working in your favor. This attitude overcomes fear and brings about a spirit of gratitude. "Approach your work with a sense of gratitude, and let your work ethic be a reflection of the appreciation you have for the opportunities to contribute and grow." - unknown.

Looking at the big picture/change of perspective- This will help us take the focus off ourselves and put it back on the plight of humanity in general. It helps us develop patience, empathy for others, and an understanding that we are not alone in our suffering.

Ask for help- There are times that we, despite our best efforts and intentions, just cannot get through a section of our journey without some assistance and/or encouragement from others.

Know that it won't last forever- You'll either come out on the other side, or you'll die, but it will end. "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche. Or the alternative, "What didn't kill me pissed me off so much that I refused to die!" - unknown.

Allow instead of force- "Somebody once asked me what my theory of life was, and I said, 'Don't try.' That fits the writing, too. I don't try. I just type." - Charles Bukowski. Much of our pain is caused by trying to control situations we do not like. While some force may be necessary to get moving, it can't be all force all the time.

"To achieve anything, we must grind, but to enjoy anything, we must flow." - Chris Matakas. We try to make things happen the way we want them to, and sometimes they actually do, but forcing an issue is rarely done in a happy state of mind. Learning to allow makes us flexible, and being flexible can keep us from breaking. There is something freeing about laughing at the realization that all our planning did not work out, and we might as well just settle in for the ride.

I know that life can suck, either in general or through the consequences of our actions. I hope that we can learn to embrace the things that are hard and come through them laughing insanely instead of being overcome. The difference between being broken by hardship and being built by it is the decision to embrace it rather than resist it. You got this!

Love and Hope,

Big Sky Baby