Forgiveness

"Forgiveness has nothing to do with logic; it is the final breakdown of it. It is a mystical recognition that human evil is something we are all trapped by, suffering from, and participating in." - Father Richard Rohr.

I must apologize for the shortness of this post, but I am trying to move and have not had time to explore this serious topic. There will have to be a rewrite on this subject at a later date, but for now, here is what I know. Forgiveness is one of the hardest gifts we can give because it asks us to release a debt we believe is owed, yet it may be the only path to freedom for both ourselves and others.

Why would someone call forgiveness a gift? Forgiveness is a gift to the offender because you are relinquishing a claim that you could justifiably hold. Let's think about forgiveness as the cancellation of a debt. Forgiveness only becomes possible after a debt has been created. You cannot force, buy, or earn forgiveness; it must be given by the person wronged. "Forgiveness is a form of voluntary suffering. In forgiving, rather than retaliating, you make a choice to bear the cost." - Tim Keller.

I have been hurt many times, and each time, I am devastated by the fact that I did not get what I felt I was owed. Be that understanding, restitution, an apology, or the satisfaction of seeing them suffer as much as I suffered. I withhold forgiveness in hopes of receiving one of those things. Meanwhile, resentment, bitterness, hard-heartedness, and a thousand hateful thoughts, all have hurt me more than my antagonist; the cost of not forgiving is high. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes.

We like to place values on our wrongdoing so we can say that we are not nearly as bad as some. And when we feel that we have been wronged in such a horrific manner that it can never be forgiven, we forget that we do anything bad at all. "In the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feels like a decision to reward my enemy. But in the shadow of the cross, forgiveness is merely a gift from one undeserving soul to another." - Andy Stanley.

To get through this life without going postal and destroying everything in sight, forgiveness is our path. Odd how painfully hard the choice can be. It can be especially hard when the person you need to forgive is someone you loved. When they betray, forgiveness is not the first thing that comes to mind, and about the last thing that you want someone else to tell you that you must do. "The problem is not to find the answer, it's to face the answer." - Terence Mckenna. Why does that have to be it?

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder. Freedom and peace sound significantly better than obsession without closure. I hope that the following prayer will help you and me acquire the gift of forgiveness so we can pass it on.

Buddhist Prayer of Forgiveness:
"If I have harmed anyone in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly, through my own confusions, I ask their forgiveness. If anyone has harmed me in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly, through their own confusion, I forgive them. And if there is a situation I am not ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that. For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions, I forgive myself." - unknown.

Love and Hope,

Big Sky Baby