Isolation
Looking back over some of my posts, I notice that I write often about living according to your values. I thought that maybe I should address one of the consequences that will happen to you if you choose to do so, and that is: you may be isolated.
Solitude, isolation, and seclusion all refer to "the state of one who is alone." There are differences: solitude and seclusion are generally personal choices, while isolation is involuntary. Being isolated is a state or a situation that you may find yourself in from time to time. How you feel while you are there is important. Loneliness, sadness, and worthlessness might rear their ugly heads, but these are feelings, and feelings are subjective (a personal opinion). A person can be surrounded by people and still feel profoundly lonely. Conversely, someone living alone may feel deeply connected to others and not be lonely at all.
Two people whose minds I admire, and whom I often quote, have words of encouragement for when you find yourself in that situation: "Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation." - Albert Einstein.
And- "No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do your work truly and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you." - Carl Jung. There is power and peace in knowing that you are not the only person in existence to hold these values and that holding onto them matters. It becomes a matter of faith; a faith in an ideal, faith that you were made for a greater purpose, faith in goodness.
How can you know that you are not the only one who thinks the way that you do? Read, read extensively about everything- even things that you vehemently disagree with. "That is part of the beauty of literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong." - F. Scott Fitzgerald. Humans are social creatures, and we need to feel as if we belong to some part of humanity, even if it is a part that we have only heard about but never experienced. Belonging can be psychological as well as physical.
Having a sense of purpose will keep the feelings of loneliness from overtaking your well-being. The World Health Organization published a study in 2025 that estimated that loneliness is associated with more than 871,000 deaths each year worldwide, or roughly 100 deaths every hour. Cardiovascular disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression and anxiety, cognitive decline, and dementia are all conditions that can be worsened by chronic loneliness. This contributes to premature death or even suicide. Isolation has been used as one of the most severe punishments that man can inflict upon man. "Isolation is not safety; it is death. If no one knows you're alive, you aren't." - unknown. You may not have control over being isolated physically, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually, but you can keep the damaging effects away by feeling that you are connected to a purpose.
There is a price to be paid for holding on to that purpose, and you will sacrifice something. Once you have a value that you cannot honestly deny, you must be brave enough to stand up for it when you need to. "Be isolated, be ignored, be attacked, be in doubt, be frightened, but do not be silenced." - Bertrand Russell. No one says this is easy, and it is generally other people and their opinions that make it so difficult.
As I have written before, it is tempting to want to be isolated so we can heal from the judgments of the world. People are mean, even if they are not consciously trying to be. They trigger feelings we do not like and sometimes do not have the strength to face. To conquer our fear of them, we must endure some exposure. "Are you healed or just isolated with no one to trigger you?" - unknown.
Psychologists sometimes describe loneliness as the gap between the relationships we have and the relationships we believe we need. To help change this, we can learn to manage expectations and work on changing our perspective. Changing perspective may reduce the suffering of loneliness, but it doesn't necessarily replace genuine human connection. Our minds seem capable of drawing strength from belonging to something invisible, such as an intellectual tradition, a faith, or a shared moral project. But most people also benefit from those abstract connections being embodied in at least a few real relationships. Ideas can sustain us for a time, yet they often become most life-giving when they are lived out with other people.
"This is the true joy in life. Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." - attributed to George Bernard Shaw.
So, how can we form relationships with other people and still keep our sanity? We engage in meaningful work together. Genuine human connection cannot be forced, purchased, or manufactured by collecting acquaintances. It is often the byproduct of pursuing something meaningful alongside other people. We build relationships by serving, creating, learning, worshipping, raising families, volunteering, and working toward common goals. None of those pursuits guarantees friendships, but each one places you in communities of people who care about the same things you do.
Purpose gives us a reason to keep going when we are alone, but shared purpose gives us a place to belong. If you spend your life becoming the kind of person you admire and contributing to something larger than yourself, you will not only discover that you are part of an invisible community, but you will gradually find yourself welcomed into a visible one as well. Be brave and get out there and help. Purpose protects us from the feeling of loneliness. Shared purpose protects us from the reality of isolation. "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver.
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby