Priorities
"Whatever you prioritize is your God." — Jordan B. Peterson
I like to think that I have noble goals: being in great physical condition, eating homemade, healthful foods, spending my free time engaged in intellectual pursuits, and giving love and attention to my family, pets, plants, and nature. If you took a look at my Pinterest boards, you would think I spend my days working out between cooking and eating healthy food. Alas, this is not the truth.
"Your priorities aren't what you say they are. They are revealed by how you live." — Unknown
To discover what you actually prioritize, an honest assessment of how you spend your time is necessary. The saying, "Actions speak louder than words," is a hard truth because your actions reveal what you are truly focused on. Some of the limits we all face are energy, time, and resources. You cannot give 100% of your energy to everything 100% of the time, but you will consistently invest it in the things that matter most to you.
"If you were accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" — Unknown
Our priorities are revealed not by our intentions but by our actions, and the wisest priorities are those rooted in enduring values rather than in a desire to control life's uncertain outcomes. Where we focus, how long we focus, and how much effort we invest all shape who we become. This is one way differences between people emerge. If one person values physical appearance and consistently prioritizes a beauty regimen, while another can hardly be bothered to brush their hair, should we expect the same outcomes? Differences in priorities often lead to differences in results, even though they are certainly not the only cause of inequality.
Prioritizing Yourself:
"When you're clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it's clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar." — Victoria Moran
Advice to prioritize yourself is everywhere in the world of self-help and psychology. Your time is precious. Protect your peace. Set boundaries. Sometimes this is wise advice. Other times, it can become an excuse to avoid the very people and situations that would help us grow.
Every choice has a price. If you never leave the house because human interaction is difficult, you may protect your peace, but you will also miss opportunities to develop resilience, understanding, and forgiveness. Growth often requires discomfort. Just as muscles are strengthened through resistance, character is often strengthened through difficult relationships and experiences.
Prioritizing Other People:
Prioritizing other people can be just as complicated. It may enrich your life many times over, or it may lead to disappointment and hardship.
"One of the most expensive things you could ever do is pay attention to the wrong people." — Dr. Henry Cloud
Unfortunately, it is not always obvious who the "wrong" people are. When deciding whether someone deserves more of your time and attention than you are inclined to give, try this simple test:
"Instead of saying, 'I don't have time,' say, 'It's not a priority,' and see how that feels." — Unknown
Is prioritizing the things in your life an attempt to control the future? Many of our goals are motivated by a desire to avoid future pain. We invest in retirement so we won't have to work in our eighties. We eat healthy foods in hopes of avoiding disease. We work out to keep our bodies strong.
Life, however, often has a way of dismantling our best-laid plans. Misfortune can wipe out savings. You may still develop a chronic illness despite years of healthy living. Many athletes permanently damage their bodies through injuries sustained while training. Whether you view these outcomes as tragedies depends largely on what you value.
Your values should be the primary force behind your priorities, and no one else can decide what those values should be. If you value family or deep human connection, advice to cut off everyone who does not benefit you will probably feel hollow. If you value physical fitness and become injured, you may adapt your approach rather than abandon exercise altogether.
"Do not be overconcerned with avoiding pain or seeking pleasure. If you are concentrating on the results of your actions, you are not dedicated to your task." — Unknown
In the end, perhaps this is the best we can do: prioritize according to our values, stay the course no matter what happens, and stop trying to control outcomes that ultimately lie beyond our reach. Your direction will influence how you experience life's journey, and only you can choose that direction. When your life is over, there will be no way of hiding what you truly prioritized. It will be evident both to yourself and to others.
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby