The Future
Kahlil Gibran said, "Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it." And who can blame us? We stockpile food, worry over retirement accounts, and take our vitamins. We do everything that we possibly can to mitigate disaster.
Many would argue that it is only wise to prepare for the future with as much energy as you can spare. "Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now." - Alan Lakein. Would we ever get married, have children, or get a higher education if we did not think that we had some say in how things would go? There was a quote I heard many years ago that said, "Failing to plan is planning to fail." There is a lot of evidence that this is true, so we need to try to influence the direction that we are travelling in this life. Like many things in life, extreme attitudes about the future can become harmful when taken too far.
Planning for the future can be bad if it is the result of fear-based thinking. "Fear is not real. Fear is simply the product of the thoughts that you create. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice." - unknown. Both fear and the future are constructs of our imagination. We mentally live in worlds that do not yet exist. I have been told that fear kills freedom. I wonder if becoming too attached to a specific future can do the same.
Another issue arises if you rigidly think that goals will move forward as planned, and you will finally be happy when they are completed. In reality, the finish line will keep moving, and the happiness from reaching a future goal will not last. Author Mark Manson explains this as hedonic adaptation, where "your brain recalibrates around the new normal and immediately starts scanning for the next problem for it to solve."
His advice, "Stop outsourcing your sense of meaning to the finish line, because by the time you get there, your brain will have already moved on and created a new finish line for itself." In other words, do not spend your life so focused on the outcome that you forget to enjoy the journey. "The hardest thing is to live richly in the present without letting it be tainted out of fear for the future or regret for the past." - Sylvia Plath.
Speaking of lines, perhaps that is our problem: we are thinking linearly. We expect our lives to run in a straight line from start to finish, when in reality, they will twist and turn and double back. "Life is a garden, not a road. We enter and exit through the same gate. Wandering, where we go matters less than what we notice." - Kurt Vonnegut.
This is where it might be a good idea to do what master strategists do: set goals but think through multiple outcomes. They plan for the best case, plus the expected case, the difficult case, and recovery paths. That way, when you are wandering around in your life garden, you'll still move in the general direction you want to go, despite whatever happens along the way. "The man who has anticipated the coming of troubles takes away their power when they arrive." - Seneca.
There are a few people who do not like looking into or planning for the future. Some of them, if they thrive on spontaneity and are not just passive, can do quite well. They trust that life will work itself out and that trying to control outcomes is a waste of time. They do still value work, education, have savings, and plan things out, but they are flexible about how life unfolds and accepting when life unfolds differently than they expected. "Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance." - unknown.
There is danger when the attitude goes too far, and they become apathetic. The problem with never planning is that the future still arrives whether we prepare for it or not. Time compounds consequences. Small neglected things like health, finances, skills, and relationships can become large problems. "In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments- there are consequences." - Robert G. Ingersoll.
You can set yourself up for success by creating systems that give you good habits. Take a look at your day and ask yourself, “Are my current habits likely to move me toward the kind of life I actually want?” The future usually belongs neither to the completely rigid nor the completely passive. It tends to favor people who can aim, move, notice reality, adjust, and continue. "You cannot change your future, but you can change your habits, and surely your habits will change your future." - Dr. A.P.G. Abdul Kalam.
Much of our suffering about the future comes not from uncertainty itself, but from our attempt to force life to unfold according to our plans. While planning for the future is wise, living well requires balancing preparation with adaptability, acceptance, and attention to the present.
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby