What Are You Worth?
"The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want." - F. Scott Fitzgerald.
I recently experienced a situation that made me feel ashamed that I had never experienced what it was like to shop in a bougie store, and 1. not be astonished by the price, 2. actually be able to afford the items that I liked, and 3. be treated with respect by the employees working there. I left the boutique feeling very average, if not low-income, even though I am usually marveling about how blessed I am to have such a good life with so many luxuries. The experience left me wondering how the world calculates the worth of a person. Are we all worth the same, or are rare people like geniuses, the rich, and the beautiful worth more? Perhaps our worth has less to do with what we possess or how we are perceived, and more to do with how we influence the lives around us.
In Christianity, we are told that all souls are precious in the sight of the Lord and that we are all brothers and sisters and should care for one another. New Age philosophy holds that the individual is deeply valuable because each person is considered an expression of a larger spiritual reality. Every person is considered part of a greater whole, and all are interconnected. Because of this, a person’s worth is usually considered intrinsic rather than earned through status, productivity, beauty, wealth, or others' approval. What happens to one, happens to all, so we should treat each other as treasures. Yet, despite these beliefs, we often fail to treat one another this way.
It is difficult to feel like you are worth anything at all if the people around you or society in general reflect that you are not. Too poor, too fat, too ugly, unfashionable, uneducated, too old—sometimes you can feel the judgment of others pressing down on you. They have their own reasons for noticing things about you based on their own experiences and triggers. "If you are willing to look at another person's behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all." - Yogi Bhajan. While the Yogi is correct, it is hard to remember this when someone hits one of your shame triggers.
Can we make ourselves more valuable? New Age philosophy and most religions agree that humans have free will and that thoughts, emotions, intentions, and beliefs influence reality. The individual mind is believed to have creative influence over life circumstances and spiritual growth. This suggests that humans are not fixed beings and that we have the capacity to grow into better versions of ourselves. The question is, though, by whose standards are we to hold ourselves to?
We all make the mistake of putting expectations on other people that we think will make them more valuable. If they would just dress better, make more money, read more, ad infinitum, they would be so much more valuable than they are right now. I mean, obviously, a human in their natural state is a stupid hot mess. But are we? "If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is grass in the beginning." - Vincent van Gogh.
Where did these expectations come from anyway? Some of these expectations are reinforced by marketing campaigns designed to profit from our insecurities through apparel, houses, cars, education, beauty products, and procedures. "Almost nothing material is needed for a happy life, for he who has understood existence." - Marcus Aurelius. Once you have an understanding that the material things don't automatically make you valuable, you then get to wrestle with the people aspect.
Human jealousy, rearing its ugly head, worried that someone else might shine, has brought about the ruin of many talented and lovely souls. "They found nothing wrong with the rose, so they complained it had thorns." - African Proverb. There have been some who have been falsely accused or even put to death by another in power who could not stand to be outdone.
If you do not have any confidence in yourself or have somewhat of a tough skin, you may not believe that you are worth much. It is in moments like this that you may have to build your own reality and insist to yourself that you are valuable, even without confirmation from anyone else. "The moment anyone tries to demean or degrade you in any way, you have to know how great you are. Nobody would bother to beat you down if you were not a threat." - Cicely Tyson. If this belief keeps you from drowning in self-loathing, then believe it and act accordingly.
We are the ones who ultimately give others power over us. The reasons behind this, as we have explored, can be valid, but we do not have to continue to internalize them. "Don't give people so much power that their silence leaves you questioning your worth." - unknown. This is your life and your reality. Make use of your autonomy by confronting your shame for being a human having a human experience. Try to understand as much about it as you can and then find a way to heal it and let it go. Then, go and uplift others.
I believe that your true worth lies in the influence that you have on the world around you. This is why belief systems that seek to guide human behavior toward its highest expression encourage self-reflection, personal growth, and improving the lives of others. Every day brings opportunities to make life easier for someone or something. I hope that you will notice something needs your energy and give generously.
Love and Hope,
Big Sky Baby